


Accidental Cryptids

by abutterflyobsession



Series: Strange Magic Tumblr Prompts [2]
Category: Strange Magic (2015), Strange Magic - Fandom, strange magic movie - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Human AU, Silly, local cryptid au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-27
Updated: 2018-09-27
Packaged: 2019-07-18 08:29:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16114661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abutterflyobsession/pseuds/abutterflyobsession
Summary: Marianne decided to do some cathartic screaming in the woods. Nearby, some campers decide that as the tallest and scariest person in their group, it is officially Bog's job to protect his fellow campers from ghosts. (sent by elf-kid2)





	1. Chapter 1

“I mean, you’re pretty much a cryptid, right?”

“I’m a what.” Bog squinted through the wavering firelight at his cousins.

“Cryptid against ghost, that sounds more like you’d have a chance than any of us. You don’t hear about humans who win after going up with the supernatural, right?”

“Thane, that is the biggest pile of–”

Another scream of rage ripped through the night. The hair on the back of Bog’s neck stood up straight and he could feel the sound vibrating in his clenched teeth. If the screaming hadn’t sounded so heartily furious he might have worried about the screamer, since he was fairly sure they were female. Then again, maybe they were screams of murderous rage and her victim was already dead and now being disassembled. If it was any mortal creature making a racket like an infuriated beast brought back to monstrous life by a deep-seated grudge against the living.

“Therefore you, being the tallest, scariest, and possibly inhuman of the group, should go check that out. It’s that or staying dead quiet and praying that it doesn’t pick up our scent.”

“This sort of nonsense is exactly why I think there should be a no drinking policy on these hikes,” Bog grumbled, “you always get spooked after your post-sunset beers.”

“You’re not going to put the beer cooler up a tree again are you? It isn’t fair! None of us can get it back down!”

“There might as well be some advantage to being the ‘tallest and scariest’. Steph, lend me your taser, Thane I need your torch. Watch the fire and make sure that Roderick doesn’t tip over the tent again. I’ll go take care of our spook problem.”

Bog strode off into the woods, trying not to stumble when the screams started again. He was fairly certain he was going to die.


	2. Chapter 2

He ends up finding Marianne busy mutilating a wedding dress and she stares into the beam of his flashlight like some woodland creature caught in the headlights of an oncoming car. Finally, she speaks:

“uh … my therapist said I should try to …”

“exorcise some demons? I could hear them being banished. They weren’t pleased to go.”

“Mm.”

“So you’re not a ghost–I mean … you’re good?”

“Good, good! Fine!”

“Good. Yes. Good. Um.”

“Why don’t we just both disappear back into the forest, never to be seen again?”

“Yes, sounds good. Have a good … enjoy your … bye.”

“Bye.”


	3. Chapter 3

Bog returned to camp and assured his cousins that he’d “taken care of it”. Questions hovered in the air but none were brave enough to put any to Bog. Eventually everyone settled down for the night, after a fierce rock-paper-scissors contest to see which poor souls had to share a tent with Roderick.

“I can’t help that I’m a cuddler,” Roderick complained.

The loser groaned when Steph’s scissors defeated his paper. “You come anywhere near me and I’m waking you up with an airhorn, Rod.”

Bog slipped into his sleeping bag and stared up at the slanted gloom of the tent ceiling. He was wondering about the Murder Girl of the Woods. Or maybe she was a Murder Bride, he thought, remembering the dismembered wedding gown. Ghost or not she had been kind of cute.

Bog made a strangled noise in his throat before grabbing the thought and strangling it. He was not looking for a girl, cute, ghost, or otherwise. What he was looking for was some sleep.

An airhorn gave a short blast nearby.

“I was only turning over!” Roderick protested.

“Do you want to borrow my mace?” Steph called from another tent.

“Quit picking on me!” Roderick said piteously.

Bog wondered what he had done wrong in some past life to deserve being born into this family. They weren’t human, he was sure. More like incompetent muppets.

After a few more false starts Bog fell asleep and had an unsettling dream about asking the ghost girl from The Ring movies out on a date.


	4. Chapter 4

“ _I was seen_.”

Marianne stood in the doorway, the pitch-dark of late night behind her, the sound of the wind rustling the tree branches whispering in through the open door. Shreds of white cloth were clutched in her hands. Her face was almost as white, rings of black surrounding her eyes which showed white all the way around.

Dawn ate a piece of popcorn and paused her movie. “Close the door before the bugs get in. Are the police coming this time?”

“If they are I’m out of here,” Sunny said, curled up and cozy next to Dawn on the couch. “I don’t want to be questioned again for being black near a crime scene.”

Marianne obligingly slammed the door shut. She threw the strips of fabric in the air and let them fall where they pleased. “No cops. Just a very tall guy who may or may not be human. It’s embarrassing, though.”

“Do you feel better?” Sunny asked.

“Somewhat satisfied.” Marianne pulled a twig out of her hair. “I would like to have burned the pieces.”

“No, no fire. It’s too dry out there right now. Wait until fall. No bodies we need to bury?”

“No bodies. Just possibly an urban legend was born tonight.”

“Oh, Marianne, I knew this day would come, I’m so proud. When do you think you’ll get your own wiki page? The guy who saw you wasn’t a weirdo? He didn’t follow you back here and murder us all in our sleep?”

“Well, now I’m not going to be sleeping, thanks.” Sunny shuddered.

“He might have been a walking skeleton or ghoul of some kind,”“ Marianne said thoughtfully, “a living corpse, drained of all color, the only life left is in his eyes. Blue, blue eyes …”

“Did you get the ghoul’s number?” Dawn asked brightly.

Marianne glowered. “Didn’t get a chance to look at his toe tag. And if I’m lucky we will never meet again except in our nightmares.”

“Mm. There’s tea and honey in the kitchen, for your throat.”


	5. Chapter 5

The group of men trying to pick up girls scattered and vanished into the crowd after a piercing glare and a few well-placed words from Bog. One of the victims of their attention had made a break for it right as Bog arrived and he saw she was heading for the back stairs, apparently oblivious to the caution tape wrapped around the railing. Bog knew he should have insisted that they block it off more thoroughly, but the manager had wanted to exploit every bit of space possible for the weekend rush.

“Hey! Don’t go that way! It’s dangerous!”

His words of warning were lost in the thumping music and Bog was forced to skip formalities and grab the girl and pull her back. In his hurry–and clumsiness–he handled her a little more roughly than he had meant to.

“Let go of my sister, you creep!”

“This is a misunderstanding–!”

A fist jabbed Bog in the stomach and he doubled over. Luckily he pulled the tiny blonde woman away from the damaged railing she had been about to lean on before he lost feeling in his hands. All sensation had been rerouted to his stomach and that sensation was pain.

Struggling to remember how to breathe, he looked up and looked at the face of his attacker through watering eyes. Bent over in pain, he was just about on eye-level with them. The shifting lights of the club made it difficult to puzzle out, but her face struck a chord in his memory. Face washed out in the unnatural light, eyes glowing with rage and rimmed with black eyeliner …

“Murder Ghost Bride!” He choked.

Rage abated in the woman’s face and he saw the light of recognition in her eyes. Also horror.

“The Undead Skeleton!”


End file.
